The Cheese Chalet(!)
Chicago rooftops
Monday, August 16, 2010
It's Cold in Canada!
What's up with that? I guess it was cold in Minnesota too, but c'mon!
So sweaty Ohio was left behind as were our dreams of a robotic revolution in the post-industrial paradise of America's heartland. Oh well, there's always next year. On to Chicago, where rules are rules, swim trunks ALWAYS have mesh and creepers don't travel in pairs. Trust me, they know. Barns and Nobles bonanzas and attempted busking (if only us street kids could accept credit cards!) leads to late night roof-hopping (necessitated by us Canucks' failure to believe in carrying cards...) and Drij's first drunk of the tour! Hooray for broth! On to the 'Rock Star Hair Salon' (that's really what it's called) where future American Idol's get hardened hair as we look on. Too bad they didn't stick around for our set... Oh well, BiFurious and Prizzy don't need no new doo's to rock the party, and the sweat was rolling down our noses like the great molasses flood of whatever year that was (I was just knee high to a june bug at the time. Now uncle Jebediah, he...) Hot, is what it was and Preeti and the Kevin's provided all the fan for our flame. Shake a foot!
On to Northern Minnesota, where true rock legends are born. Like Kurt, namesake of Kurtfest, our last minute godsend in the northern wilderness. Picture this, small town america, just a block from 'the Big Stick' (brought to you by Christian America), where pregnant teens can still drink and smoke and small men in tie-dyed belly shirts and giant jafros can break into their cars in peace. America! The ol' furniture store is hoppin all night to the sounds of every local and semi-local band around. Rock rules, though surprise guests (to us) Nomia FLOOR us, but the real party stars when the kegs arrive and bro-fest 2010 gets 'roid rage and spits itself all over the walls. Sounds kinda gross don't it? But the boys wouldn't be stopped and our two AM set was filled with shirtless men shakin their booties like they never heard music before! Thrust punchin and poll dancin and hot footin, the boys paid no mind to the lack of ladies. Kurtfest rules! kindof... too bad it was the last, but at least we closed the final chapter...
Oh yeah- late night soundscape. Close your eyes and picture this...err, open them to read I guess and then close em and picture. A sweaty,mouldy, carpeted warehouse, drunks passed out all over, soda cans strewn about, teen hormones and 'chug chug chug' wafting up from the basement, us poor swampies huddled in the corner. Sleepland calls as a hippie jam breaks out beside us, punctuated by the full blast SCREAMS of a drunken girl friend who's boyfriend doesn't listen to her, isn't a man cause he didn't 'have her back' in a fight over keg etiquette, doesn't understand, just walks away... (three hours folks) while 'Cody! No, what are you doing! No, that's the carpet! You can't piss there! No don't, it's... AWWW!!!" It's like a lullaby.
No matter, sleep was had, some t-shirts were stolen, and the one restaurant was closed- though all 15 bars were open! On to Canada where the maple leaf waits with open arms... or not. Why do border guards hate us so much? Two hour strip search (of the car, sorry to give you a false impression) turns up... nothing! Except ONE CAN of pabst that we forgot to declare and a pack of cigarillos, which aren't the same as cigarettes and so we LIED when we said we have smokes. What a bunch of bull kaka - plus they didn't have a bathroom! So we called Amnesty International and got them booked on human rights violations while we all shared a shotgun of our single sud. What the fuck man, why ya gotta unroll every goddamn sock! Anyways, Winnipeg is where we are and lovely Julia has now slaked our thirsts for hospitality. Canada Ho!
It's off now to an interview. With the press. We're kindof a big deal... not really, but someone in Calgary really does want to interview us!
Tune in next time for a chance at a free show near you! That is if you live in the major centers where we'll be playing and by free I mean you'll have to pay....
So sweaty Ohio was left behind as were our dreams of a robotic revolution in the post-industrial paradise of America's heartland. Oh well, there's always next year. On to Chicago, where rules are rules, swim trunks ALWAYS have mesh and creepers don't travel in pairs. Trust me, they know. Barns and Nobles bonanzas and attempted busking (if only us street kids could accept credit cards!) leads to late night roof-hopping (necessitated by us Canucks' failure to believe in carrying cards...) and Drij's first drunk of the tour! Hooray for broth! On to the 'Rock Star Hair Salon' (that's really what it's called) where future American Idol's get hardened hair as we look on. Too bad they didn't stick around for our set... Oh well, BiFurious and Prizzy don't need no new doo's to rock the party, and the sweat was rolling down our noses like the great molasses flood of whatever year that was (I was just knee high to a june bug at the time. Now uncle Jebediah, he...) Hot, is what it was and Preeti and the Kevin's provided all the fan for our flame. Shake a foot!
On to Northern Minnesota, where true rock legends are born. Like Kurt, namesake of Kurtfest, our last minute godsend in the northern wilderness. Picture this, small town america, just a block from 'the Big Stick' (brought to you by Christian America), where pregnant teens can still drink and smoke and small men in tie-dyed belly shirts and giant jafros can break into their cars in peace. America! The ol' furniture store is hoppin all night to the sounds of every local and semi-local band around. Rock rules, though surprise guests (to us) Nomia FLOOR us, but the real party stars when the kegs arrive and bro-fest 2010 gets 'roid rage and spits itself all over the walls. Sounds kinda gross don't it? But the boys wouldn't be stopped and our two AM set was filled with shirtless men shakin their booties like they never heard music before! Thrust punchin and poll dancin and hot footin, the boys paid no mind to the lack of ladies. Kurtfest rules! kindof... too bad it was the last, but at least we closed the final chapter...
Oh yeah- late night soundscape. Close your eyes and picture this...err, open them to read I guess and then close em and picture. A sweaty,mouldy, carpeted warehouse, drunks passed out all over, soda cans strewn about, teen hormones and 'chug chug chug' wafting up from the basement, us poor swampies huddled in the corner. Sleepland calls as a hippie jam breaks out beside us, punctuated by the full blast SCREAMS of a drunken girl friend who's boyfriend doesn't listen to her, isn't a man cause he didn't 'have her back' in a fight over keg etiquette, doesn't understand, just walks away... (three hours folks) while 'Cody! No, what are you doing! No, that's the carpet! You can't piss there! No don't, it's... AWWW!!!" It's like a lullaby.
No matter, sleep was had, some t-shirts were stolen, and the one restaurant was closed- though all 15 bars were open! On to Canada where the maple leaf waits with open arms... or not. Why do border guards hate us so much? Two hour strip search (of the car, sorry to give you a false impression) turns up... nothing! Except ONE CAN of pabst that we forgot to declare and a pack of cigarillos, which aren't the same as cigarettes and so we LIED when we said we have smokes. What a bunch of bull kaka - plus they didn't have a bathroom! So we called Amnesty International and got them booked on human rights violations while we all shared a shotgun of our single sud. What the fuck man, why ya gotta unroll every goddamn sock! Anyways, Winnipeg is where we are and lovely Julia has now slaked our thirsts for hospitality. Canada Ho!
It's off now to an interview. With the press. We're kindof a big deal... not really, but someone in Calgary really does want to interview us!
Tune in next time for a chance at a free show near you! That is if you live in the major centers where we'll be playing and by free I mean you'll have to pay....
Thursday, August 12, 2010
OHIO--->ILLINOIS
Kind of the real money, but more like the real rad funtimes. $3 sixpacks of tall cans and forties make for a blurry fun time, The Very Knees and The Dreadful Yawns make up our show experience in Cleveland/Lakewood. Dancing til the early morn, and next day record shopping - i get a tattoo to pass the time since i have neither record player nor home for that matter....I do love my mom.
So then its off to Toledo, back to that good ole strange city, where last year we crashed in the backyard of a few suburban teenagers on acid who tried to build a bonfire with lighter fluid.....this year maybe more tame. Chillin in a dirty dirty park before the show, watching buffy the vampire slayer the movie, at the bar. yup. Played outside with a one-man loop show, and a fantastic noise band....ah toledo. Then a sweaty drive to Chicago...and now we're going to the beach. Maybe some busking, a little bumming around, chinatown...who knows we could get wild out here.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Crush Canada Tour, or Sexy Support Staff Tour, or some other funny name Tour...
On the road again... Day one: Sudbury. Our home away from home. Ehh, not really but we really fucking like it there. Back in the ol' Millard's garage, kids rockin out, water flowing like water (high school kids in parents garage= no booze!) and veggie burgers on the grill- no problem! Sadly we were a little on the late side (arriving at 7:30!) so we missed some of our bosom buddies' bands, but Magic Pelvis and the Birthday Cakes were oh so delicious. A few hiccups on our part (it's the first show for crying out loud) but all was nice and good.
Day two: Early morning Value Village shenanigans (B52's and Annie Lenox!) lead to the long road down to Toronto town. We arrive too early (it's always one or the other, eh?) and don't notice there's a doorbell so it's a few hours of park chillin'. Finally get into the former Soviet hotbed Silver Dollar to find ourselves in the midst of an all out punk rawk show. The Power Hour peeps are polite, but our brightly coloured one-zies, afro wigs and faux fur are a little out of place. Oh yeah, and our amp crapps out. And then we get drunk. And then I sleep in the van... Toronto!!!
Day three: Wake up to the sights and sounds of garbage trucks (it's always garbage day in the big city) and find out from the magic internet machine that we were supposed to play in Detroit the night before! Aaaahhhh! As Trumbleplex slips through our fingers we rehearse our border story- but no matter. We're as good as terrorists and get another two hour border hold up. No pad downs this time, and "the guys with the van, in the band" do get across ("We're not really a BAND, we're just a group of friends that play music together, y'know?") Trumble none-the-less opens it's Victorian doors to us, and even finds us a show at a bar with the biggest back yard I ever did see. Small crowd, but great DJ's, our costumes are a hit.
Day four: Straight chillin. We hang out with the 'Plexers, buy some eats, sit on the stoop, go swimming, make a huge meal, get many tours (accidental and intentional), sit on the stoop, chat it up and sit on the stoop. Good times! Now it's off to Ohio, where the real money's at....
Day two: Early morning Value Village shenanigans (B52's and Annie Lenox!) lead to the long road down to Toronto town. We arrive too early (it's always one or the other, eh?) and don't notice there's a doorbell so it's a few hours of park chillin'. Finally get into the former Soviet hotbed Silver Dollar to find ourselves in the midst of an all out punk rawk show. The Power Hour peeps are polite, but our brightly coloured one-zies, afro wigs and faux fur are a little out of place. Oh yeah, and our amp crapps out. And then we get drunk. And then I sleep in the van... Toronto!!!
Day three: Wake up to the sights and sounds of garbage trucks (it's always garbage day in the big city) and find out from the magic internet machine that we were supposed to play in Detroit the night before! Aaaahhhh! As Trumbleplex slips through our fingers we rehearse our border story- but no matter. We're as good as terrorists and get another two hour border hold up. No pad downs this time, and "the guys with the van, in the band" do get across ("We're not really a BAND, we're just a group of friends that play music together, y'know?") Trumble none-the-less opens it's Victorian doors to us, and even finds us a show at a bar with the biggest back yard I ever did see. Small crowd, but great DJ's, our costumes are a hit.
Day four: Straight chillin. We hang out with the 'Plexers, buy some eats, sit on the stoop, go swimming, make a huge meal, get many tours (accidental and intentional), sit on the stoop, chat it up and sit on the stoop. Good times! Now it's off to Ohio, where the real money's at....
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Yes Wave!
So here's a look at our new EP, hot off the presses (well, more specifically the silk-screen table...) Look for it wherever you see us, cause it sure ain't available in stores. You can listen on myspace too, if you want a full sensory experience
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Not Dead Yet!
Ok, so it's been awhile since we've talked. But we've been thinking about you the whole time. And those other bands didn't mean anything. And time apart just makes the heart grow fonder, right?
Right! So get ready, cause we're coming home! or at least the one who's been away is coming home, and she's really the most important. We've got a new ep coming out ( I would have liked to say a new record coming out, but the gods have spoken and we're allergic to vinyl and moving fast...) It's gonna be on cassette tape! And CD, I guess, but that's so boring. July release, check the tunage on myspace.com/swampsexrobotsmontreal. Plus we're playing shows in Montreal in July/early August then hitting the road for an epic journey West, this time in the warm times! Yeah! Anyone who has a van they want to donate, that'd be awesome. I know you want to! Dates in Canada and the U. S of A. Stay tuned, fair gum chewers and send in your wrappers for a free kick at the can.*
*there is no free kick at the can
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