Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Pretty Much Everywhere It's Gonna Be Hot... Except Toronto/Homeward Bound!

Thus ends the Sexy Shower Tour, which could perhaps be better described as the Bestial Golden Shower Tour (for the amazingly large number of encounters with cat pee we've experienced)
To sum up:
New York, New York- city so nice, they named it twice... we also decided to play twice, to, you know, drum up support. Alas, Manhattan was as unforgiving as Brooklyn and again we played to a ghost audience. The other band was amazing though, and good, drunk and good and drunk friends were in attendance. Exeunt the big city, but not before a ride on the super sweet and oh so free Staten Island ferry! Yay!
Bean town ho! And a return to the pillowy, welcoming arms of Queereoke. This time there were people there! Goodness, a real show, who would've believed it? Not too shabby for our last American date, I must say. As we drove into the sunset approaching our home on Native land, we thought for a second that we might miss the land of the free (guns) and brave (flagwavers)- or at least we'd miss the cheap liquor and cigarettes. Lucky for us there's an all night duty free shop!
And then there was the border. We're Canadian citizens, no problem, right? What the F? They searched us again! Do we really look that sketchy? Ok our van's a peace of shit, we're dirty, unshaven and have no jobs or prospects, but we're not terrorists, or at least not THAT type of terrorists (and why the fuck is it such a concern whether we received any gifts, huh? Maybe somebody, somewhere likes us. Ever think of that? Well, I guess they don't 'cause we didn't get any gifts, but that's beside the point). Goddamn, it ain't fair! We did get across (into our own facking country!) but jesus murphy... they liked our masks though.
Back in the T-Dot for one last kick at the can. This time a loft party proves to be our saviour. No annoying asshole bands, people inside, dancing and singing along (ok, it was just one girl, but she was damn cute, so it counts for, like, four people, right?) Good times. Who ever said that Toronto sucks? Err, maybe it was us, but we kinda take it back. For now.
And that's about it. Tomorrow we're back in poutine land, drowning our sorrows in cheese curds and maple syrup. At least that's the plan. Did I mention our van's a piece of shit? It's developed a few new bumps and grinds, so tomorrow should be an adventure... yeah hitch-hiking!

Monday, July 6, 2009

Big Taters and Hot Nuts!

Oh, so much to tell! hmm. After adventures in st. pitty'sburgh, we venture to D.C., wandering around the original "mall" on E street and 7th; space-aerial explorations with tycho brahe and his armillary sphere, oh the universe! Dark matter! A history written in bone bone bone, and cold stella's and ganja at Simone's dad's. Then we find ourselves back at the scene of last year's second show, dear Kansas House, in arlington VA, where we attempt to blow minds again, with mild success, lots of fun, and $2 forties. Luckily the deluge doesn't stop everyone from coming, including some folks who saw us last year! Wow! Next up is Baltimore whose free library nurses genius giant chess games in its lobby. A dream come true! After a show at the H&H building, with Pocket Lollipops, projections, country club pool break-ins and cold sake, we spend a special afternoon at Edgar's grave with fried lake trout, collard greens, macaroni and cheese and sweet sweet potatoes. The evening is made up of pop-punk, us, and glittery obi-wan-kenobi scream-noise rockers (soo good) at the Cider Haus, home of abiku. Dear natty bo, we love you.
A few traffic jams later, we're in Philadelphia, the original home of freedom (a.k.a. Philly cheese steaks) back at our man Sam's new crib. Mini fridge full of forties! Some of us indulge more than others, some indulge ALOT more than others, but nonetheless cat-pee costumes are overcome to actually make Philadelphians dance. Who knew it could be done?!? The next day brings new adventures in the form of table diving (What Recession?) before braving the creepily deserted freeway to NYC. We were invited to play on the big boat off the Jersey shore (you know, with fireworks and Jewel, and West Side Story...), but instead we decided to play for no money to no audience and douche-bag staff. Tough call, but we think we made the right decision... There were some sweet fireworks, though. Or maybe I'm mistaking fireworks for burning buildings and gunshots. Not sure. Next day Sunday beach-bumming, to Little Odessa edibles, to Gin and Juice patio party, to Fulton Mall shopping spree/MOMA art farts to happy happy joy joy! Ahh the big city.
And then we take Manhattan...

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Adventures! More stories to come....

Oh! Poe!

Baltimore in a nutshell


Pittsburgh Bourgeoisie graves


Monday, June 29, 2009

Golden Creams and Frosty Delights!

Morning after a questionable brush with authority in a Pittsburgh cemetery last night (questionable in the sense that we may have imagined it). hmmm. So a Chicago show from which we got paid twice by an expensive sports bar, sped away happily, to find ourselves in Toledo, land of the very few grocery stores, and youngsters making fires with lighter fluid and motor oil, camped in their backyard after a show with the amazing Mr. Gnome. Hooray for LSD and SUV's!! After a premature arrival in Cincinnati, we camp out on the sidewalk of "the worst neighbourhood in America". Debatable, but its nomination for this title is undeniable. After a long discussion with the fire department, Bunk ArtSpace is temporarily moved outside and we get to play on an outdoor backlot platform (earlier home to daydreams)! A disappointingly short set leaves us a little bummed, but the night picks up when a new friend takes us to the warehouse he lives in and shows us around the huge reclaimed (they pay rent though) space used as a workshop space for a future bike co-op, carpentry, general mayhem, and housing a tunnel in its gigantic basement! After a trip to the raddest dumpsters i have ever combed over, we sleep.
The drive to pittsburgh is hot, but not as unbearable as the past few. Kinda sketchy directions take us to Friendship street! Oh yeah- FRIENDSHIP! Hippy tour continues... or not... we play a basement house party to the coolest cats in cooltown, drink numerous PBR's and begin our quest for true Yinzers! That quest is abandoned in the face of deserted steel mills and giant smokestacks. Some of us are more adventurous than others (no names will be named) but it's all AMAZING! Maybe another exclamation point is needed- ! and another !! But did our fearless heroes stop there? No! Off to the graveyard for more late night urban exploration among the giant mausoleums and big breasted sphinxes of middle american big-wigs. Surrounded by fireflies, super stealth ninja cops (invisible, silent ones, no less!) chase us off of the property to continue our discussions of the true origins of crop circles. No stone unturned!
*Ring*Ring* oh that must be the president, calling for his private show... Until the next episode...

Monday, June 22, 2009

Sexy Shower pictures as of June 22 (!)

t.o. streetmeat
detroit, trumbellplex

Swamp Sex Robots are Yankee Doodle Dandies on the Sexy Shower Tour!!!

Here we are in the windy city, but the gusts just don't blow (as in it's real facking hot) Update to this point...
Wednesday, June 17th. Toronto. Rancho Relaxo. Kinda mega shit-tastic: bands who were, let's say, not our style, suburban crowd who didn't give a shit about shit and a broken kick-drum skin that threatened to cause a fisticuffs. Short set, pissed off but our costumes looked real swell...
Hangin in the T-dot, eatin street meat and any other cheap eatables. NxNE: King Khan and BBQ Show, Black Lips, Health- super dope n' delicious. If only we were a real band and had wrist bands and free beer, all would have been plush and diamonds.
Saturday, June 20th. Loaded up our (not so) trusty van so as to best conceal our bandliness. Drive through rain/crazy heat/suburban strip malls. Get to the Ambassador bridge (this side of freedom land, 'sayin) chat up the border guard, our water tight cover story seemingly covering all our water. But oh no- orange flag= van search, nut-rub-pad-down. Somehow a fake Yankee 20 dollar bill is revealed. 3 hours go by as us and every ethnic minority are hassled and fondled before the oh so 'nice' secret service hipster tells us we can go (finally we can put our hands in our pockets!!) Get back in our now worse for wear van (that shit is BROKE!) thanks to the ruff treatment at the hands of the the macho men and head off in search of freedom. Navigate the choked mega urban autoroutes of the Detroit-mega-opolis before space docking at the ultra modern Trumbelplex... scrap that. Drive the empty 6 lane freeways of the now ghost town Detroit donut-city to find the Trumbel victorian mansion turned hippie punk heaven complete with home made stage and 18 chickens (well, Dreeko counted only 15, but that's a whole 'nother story) Decompress from our border finger bang with some sweet ass BBQ and none-stop keg beer. Amazing folks abound, Mint Juleps flow like wine, Burlesque wunder-kind Rita Riggs stops our hearts, or at least our minds, costumes are sweated into the carpet and punk is pitted against funk in the battle of the ages (I'd say funk rules the day- you cannot fuck with Rick James!) And yes pants were dropped for cold hard American cash. We love you Trumbelplex!!!
Off to Chicago. En route: 5 dollars worth of free fucking fireworks on the side of the freeway! Freedom Now!!!
Chicago: Birthplace of the skyscraper, home of Trumptower number Ivanka, so fresh and so clean. Our minds explode and spit themselves all over the wall after the desiccated husk of Motown. The air is full of the cries and whispers of people who exist and live in the city. Not a chicken or a goat or a horse or an empty lot is to be seen. Glass and steel abound and squish our starcrossed heroes beneath their Frank Gehry designed boots. Will they survive the affluence attack? Tune in next time for the exciting conclusion (or at least a continuation)....

Monday, June 15, 2009

Gettin Rady for the Tooor

All us kids are getting ready for our next USA tour. Thanks everyone who helped put it together. Here's the facebook link....

We'll try to update it as more dates and places come in. We'll also be posting the tour poster right away.

Monday, May 4, 2009


our venerable trash band is playing tonight at l'escogriffe w/ teenanger (toronto), dirty chinese thieves (toronto), and thee b-sides.

come come come.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Toronto Shoe

Swamp Sex Robots are in Toronto this weekend April 25th at

341 College Street

The poster is mis-informed but beautiful nonetheless

Saturday, April 11, 2009

suck cess

wicked show last night. thanks everyone for coming.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

futur sho

So our back to Montreal show is in a few days. All the bots are very excited. It's a late show so get to Club Lambi just before midnight.

Publish Post

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I thought it would never end

Guess what kids? The Swamp Sex Robots are coming back to town. I'm sure you didn't notice but we haven't been playing shows since our tour (which was awesome...we almost died a few times)...or updating blogs, or doing anything really. It seems that Ken Doll got himself committed and had to sit under the banyan tree for a few months but now that he's back (with more problems than when he left) the band will play again. Look out for show posting through April and beyond.